Novice Eurotourist and Picon biere drinker.
Our Steeds
Suzuki GSF 1250 GT Bandit ABS
Engine: 1255 cc DOHC 16VPower: 110 BHP
Torque: 80lbff
Optional Extras:
Scottoiler touring kit.Garmin Zumo 500 with full European mapping.
Arrow Exhaust system
Kawasaki ZRX 1200R Must be good, he's never kept a bike this long.
Engine: 1164cc DOHC 16V
Power: 122 BHP
Torque: Plenty
Optional Extras:
Scottoiler touring kit
Acropovic exhaust can
Full 'Transit Barging' Givi luggage system
Frying pan
56 Rashers of Value Bacon
Kettle
Tea bags
Lager
Sangria
Friday 24/7
The original plan was for us to set-off on Saturday 25/7, early in the morning, but Simon blagged the Friday afternoon off work so we decided to leave on Friday afternoon and spend the night at the GRD Bikeloft, motto ‘Peace, Love and Self-Service’, near Ostend. This would give us a bit of a headstart for our tour and we wouldn’t have to get up at the crack of dawn.
We were supposed to meet at 14.30 to head for the Tunnel which, of course, didn’t happen. Rod made us half an hour late because he’d gone to Brighton. Then, when we had to stop on the M23 for him to put his waterproofs on, he discovered he’d got the mobile that Mrs Thompson was supposed to have. That meant we had to go to the Gatwick junction and turn round and go back to Maidenbower to give Ruben the phone for his mum.
Then the heavens opened! The volume of water around was just ludicrous, with cagers dawdling in all three lanes - either because they couldn’t cope with the spray or because they were watching the lightning. This storm followed us around from Gatwick to Ashford, with appallingly slow traffic the whole way. At one point, on the M20, the drops were about an inch across and felt like hailstones when they hit you. In some places there were nearly six inches of water running down the roadway. Of course, there was the wonderful experience of the moments when water just got passed your jacket zip, trickled down and through your boots and finally assaulted the back of your neck.
In a way, it was alright that we had such rubbish conditions at the start as it is unlikely that we could have worse weather while we’re away.
Needless to say, we missed our shuttle and had to wait about 25 minutes to board one. When we arrived at the Bikeloft we discovered we’d got a double, not a twin, room. Of course, this made Simon very excitable but Rod put his foot down and we ended up sleeping on camp beds in the 25 bed dormitory - nice! We had plenty of Stella and Simon was mesmerised by the ‘Look and Cook’ interactive kitchen. Initially it was the number of microwaves that got him going, but once he’d experienced the Auto-fryers he was as high as a kite. Not only did we have hotdogs with ‘auto-fried’ chips, we then had to have ‘auto fried’ prawn spring rolls and ‘auto-fried‘ bitter ballen. If you’ve never tried bitter ballen, don’t, they are absolute sh*te!
We were supposed to meet at 14.30 to head for the Tunnel which, of course, didn’t happen. Rod made us half an hour late because he’d gone to Brighton. Then, when we had to stop on the M23 for him to put his waterproofs on, he discovered he’d got the mobile that Mrs Thompson was supposed to have. That meant we had to go to the Gatwick junction and turn round and go back to Maidenbower to give Ruben the phone for his mum.
Then the heavens opened! The volume of water around was just ludicrous, with cagers dawdling in all three lanes - either because they couldn’t cope with the spray or because they were watching the lightning. This storm followed us around from Gatwick to Ashford, with appallingly slow traffic the whole way. At one point, on the M20, the drops were about an inch across and felt like hailstones when they hit you. In some places there were nearly six inches of water running down the roadway. Of course, there was the wonderful experience of the moments when water just got passed your jacket zip, trickled down and through your boots and finally assaulted the back of your neck.
In a way, it was alright that we had such rubbish conditions at the start as it is unlikely that we could have worse weather while we’re away.
Needless to say, we missed our shuttle and had to wait about 25 minutes to board one. When we arrived at the Bikeloft we discovered we’d got a double, not a twin, room. Of course, this made Simon very excitable but Rod put his foot down and we ended up sleeping on camp beds in the 25 bed dormitory - nice! We had plenty of Stella and Simon was mesmerised by the ‘Look and Cook’ interactive kitchen. Initially it was the number of microwaves that got him going, but once he’d experienced the Auto-fryers he was as high as a kite. Not only did we have hotdogs with ‘auto-fried’ chips, we then had to have ‘auto fried’ prawn spring rolls and ‘auto-fried‘ bitter ballen. If you’ve never tried bitter ballen, don’t, they are absolute sh*te!
Saturday 25/7
Apart from some dirty b^%t*rd who breezed close to our table reeking of Lynx and anal detritus - nice - we had an OK breakfast and left Ostend for Eijsden, on the banks of the Maas in Holland and Spa-Francorchamps, en-route to Esch-sur-Sure in Luxembourg. The ride to Holland was dull because time dictated that we mainly used motorway but Eijsden looked a pretty place. We impressed the locals by riding through the town centre when all routes were closed to traffic, had a couple of beautiful Dutch coffees and left for Francorchamps.
As soon as we got near the village we knew there was a big event on as there was so much traffic and cars parked everywhere. As it happened, it was the Total 24 hour car race this weekend so we couldn’t get into the circuit anyway. At least Simon knows where it is now. Naturally, as soon as we arrived at Francorchamps it began to pour down and then accompanied us all the way to Luxembourg.
The weather had cleared up, by the time we got near to Esch, and there were some lovely twisty roads but they were still wet so we didn’t push on too hard. We had the same room, at the Hotel de la Sure, that Jonny and Rod had last year and we had a very good dinner (mixed fish brochette with rice, vegetable soup, and stuffed duck breast followed by apple tart) and a good few local beers. Proper beds tonight, Hooray!
Three countries done today; Belgium, The Netherlands and Luxembourg.
As soon as we got near the village we knew there was a big event on as there was so much traffic and cars parked everywhere. As it happened, it was the Total 24 hour car race this weekend so we couldn’t get into the circuit anyway. At least Simon knows where it is now. Naturally, as soon as we arrived at Francorchamps it began to pour down and then accompanied us all the way to Luxembourg.
The weather had cleared up, by the time we got near to Esch, and there were some lovely twisty roads but they were still wet so we didn’t push on too hard. We had the same room, at the Hotel de la Sure, that Jonny and Rod had last year and we had a very good dinner (mixed fish brochette with rice, vegetable soup, and stuffed duck breast followed by apple tart) and a good few local beers. Proper beds tonight, Hooray!
Three countries done today; Belgium, The Netherlands and Luxembourg.
Sunday 26/7
We woke up to a mist that was already beginning to be burnt off by the sun. It was so nice to be riding in the sunshine on twisty, hilly roads, although once again the surface was still damp under the trees. We did a lot of the roads Gladys, Steve, Jonny and Rod rode last year. We took D roads down to Strasbourg, a bit of free Autobahn into Germany and then B and smaller roads on to Friedrichshafen on Lake Konstanz, or the Bodensee as is it is known in Deutschland.
The journey got very gutty as the route chosen for the last half of the journey went through a lot of built-up areas and even when it wasn’t it had speed restrictions on the rest of it. Of course, we took these to be applicable only to cagers or German nationals so we didn’t pay too much attention to them. There seemed to be a lack of bike awareness amongst a lot of drivers, although much of their behavior could have been deliberate, petty awkwardness.
The highlight of the journey came when we were about 20 miles from Friedrichshafen and came around a bend to find a huge panoramic view of the Bodensee, with Switzerland and the mountains on the other side. It really was fabulous.
Like the hotels for the next couple of nights, the Schoellhorn was picked from the internet on the basis of suitable location as far as timing and our intended route were concerned. We thought it offered really good value for money - €102 for the two of us half-board which, unusually, they offered to do for just the one night. The hotel includes the Athena Greek Restaurant, so the no-choice four course dinner menu came from there – vegetable soup (again), a salad and then a huge main course of mixed gyros (kebabs) with lots of accompaniments. Dessert was Greek yoghurt with honey and nuts. Being totally bloated by our dinner, we could only manage a few beers (literally) at a waterfront bar. So Rod thought he’d had a really healthy evening, having walked around the town, only having a few beers and eating yoghurt and honey – oh, plus the fags he’d rolled and filled his cigarette case with, the night before lasted up to midnight, so that must have been healthy, too.
Friedrichshafen is a very up-market resort and was a nice place for a stopover. Five countries for Simon, now, as he’s added France and Germany. A strenuous day, though, following five hours drinking and seven hours sleep, with eight hours on the road.
The journey got very gutty as the route chosen for the last half of the journey went through a lot of built-up areas and even when it wasn’t it had speed restrictions on the rest of it. Of course, we took these to be applicable only to cagers or German nationals so we didn’t pay too much attention to them. There seemed to be a lack of bike awareness amongst a lot of drivers, although much of their behavior could have been deliberate, petty awkwardness.
The highlight of the journey came when we were about 20 miles from Friedrichshafen and came around a bend to find a huge panoramic view of the Bodensee, with Switzerland and the mountains on the other side. It really was fabulous.
Like the hotels for the next couple of nights, the Schoellhorn was picked from the internet on the basis of suitable location as far as timing and our intended route were concerned. We thought it offered really good value for money - €102 for the two of us half-board which, unusually, they offered to do for just the one night. The hotel includes the Athena Greek Restaurant, so the no-choice four course dinner menu came from there – vegetable soup (again), a salad and then a huge main course of mixed gyros (kebabs) with lots of accompaniments. Dessert was Greek yoghurt with honey and nuts. Being totally bloated by our dinner, we could only manage a few beers (literally) at a waterfront bar. So Rod thought he’d had a really healthy evening, having walked around the town, only having a few beers and eating yoghurt and honey – oh, plus the fags he’d rolled and filled his cigarette case with, the night before lasted up to midnight, so that must have been healthy, too.
Friedrichshafen is a very up-market resort and was a nice place for a stopover. Five countries for Simon, now, as he’s added France and Germany. A strenuous day, though, following five hours drinking and seven hours sleep, with eight hours on the road.
Monday 27/7
A beautiful morning at the Bodensee today and an OK breakfast. Despite Rod not having had much sleep (due to ‘domestics’ involving the Princess and missed calls in the early hours of the morning, necessitating a barrage of calls to and from the UK between 03.00 and 03.30), the dynamic duo were in good spirits when they departed in brilliant sunshine. The edge was taken off a bit by a horrendously hot and dusty, tunnel, somewhere in Austria, but we perked up when we felt that we’d made good time to the Swiss border, having abandoned the twat-navs for the day.
We didn’t buy petrol in Austria, as we didn’t need any, but it was about 25 cents a litre cheaper than Belgium and Germany.
Having crossed into Switzerland at Feldkirch, we made a change to the route to take in the Splϋgenpass (2113 metres) rather than follow the N3 down from Chur, which goes close to St Moritz. In either case, the last part of the journey would drop down to the outskirts of Milan via Colico and Lecco, following the shore of Lake Como. Well, that was the plan!
We went to Vaduz, in Liechtenstein, which seemed like a wealthy place but had a very strange museum – the Kunst Museum. Obviously, they spell it a bit differently but – of course – we knew what it meant. Rod and Simon were, naturally enough, both too embarrassed to go in, although we had a good titter about it. Everything went pear-shaped when we couldn’t find the road to Chur from Vaduz, only the toll autoroute. Eventually, having had to consult the GPS, we found it and were on our way to Splϋgen – or so we thought.
Although on the right road and travelling in the right direction (knew this from checking the position of the Sun), unfortunately we had missed the Splϋgen junction and were just going deeper into the heart of Switzerland. By the time we reached Thon, this was blatantly obvious so we stopped for a coffee (ha, ha) and to sort out our next step. The coffees were a laugh as, when Simon went to pay, the waitress wouldn’t accept Euros or plastic. She sent him to the Post Office, over the road, to get some money changed – just as well, really, as he then had money for a beer when (eventually) we reached Splϋgen.
We nearly decided to follow another scenic route down to Lecco, being loathe to retrace our steps, but, because Simon really wanted to do a ‘proper’ mountain pass, we headed the 25 miles, or so, back towards Chur to pick up the right road. It’s an ill wind and all that but the ride back was great as there was very little traffic on the main road and we knew the lie of the sweepers, even though we were coming from the opposite direction. We had a good blat back most of the way, taking a different and very small mountain road for the last half of the stage. This was stimulating asit consisted of dozens of right-angle bends, up and down hill, with enough severe roadworks to give Rod and Simon their customary ‘off-road’ experience.
We had a beer in the village of Splϋgen, before tackling the Pass. By now, the schedule had again gone to pot, the fifty mile diversion having cost us over an hour and a half, altogether. We were very warm, having seen a sign reading 34 degrees a bit earlier and the temperature still being high.
The Splϋgenpass was everything you could hope for from that sort of road, totally absorbing and frenetic. When we reached the more moderate lower twisties, it felt really weird – the bikes seeming really quiet and relaxed. There was still about a hundred miles to our destination, the Hotel Polo, in a Milan suburb and we were both hot and knackered – Rod dozing-off in one tunnel, en-route.
When we got to the hotel we found that it only offered breakfast and automat refreshments and the Pizzeria, 100m down the road, was closed on Mondays. So, dripping sweat, we decided to keep our bike gear on and look for a restaurant in a nearby town.
True to form, Rod having made us late getting the multi-language phrase book, we hadn’t looked at it and hadn’t taken it with us to the ‘Wine and Roses Café Bar’. The waiter spoke no English, whatsoever, and the chef apparently knew about six words which luckily included ‘eat’, ‘fish’ and ‘meat’. The only things we could say were ‘grazie’, ‘prego’ and ‘due birra’, which at least got us beers and a menu. Fortunately, another diner found a customer and her daughter who could speak English, so we were – in typically ‘Brits abroad’ fashion – sorted. The food was alright, but dear, and we were too tired to drink more than a couple of beers so we returned to the hotel to get blogging.
Bad news? The wi-fi was crap – Rod’s net book wouldn’t pick up the router and the signal was too weak for Simon to upload much as it kept cutting-off, maybe due to the 50 Japanese who’d arrived all firing up their gadgets.
Good news? Big ashtray in the bedroom, so no need to smoke outside. Hooray!
Simon may have had the worst weather he’d ever ridden in on Friday, but today he had the best ever roads, which more than compensates. It has been a hard day, but at least he now has Austria, Liechtenstein, Switzerland and Italy to his tally – nine countries in three days. Tomorrow, we are going to have a look at the Monza Circuit before heading down to Provence, ready for Monaco on Wednesday.
Two blokes...
Two Bikes...
Two Sat-Navs...
No petrol:
No idea where they are!
Prepare for..................The Splϋgen Pass
Rod's got a plan at the Swiss border. He ought to be a News Reader on BBC TV
After a swift 0.25l at Restaurant Rustico, Splugen, just to steady the nerves
After a swift 0.25l at Restaurant Rustico, Splugen, just to steady the nerves
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